Who's Gonna Save The World Tonight?

I guess my problem really started with the sign. I was taking Panic, my pet imp, for a walk when I saw it. (Yes, a walk inside. Panic is agoraphobic. And claustrophobic. And hydrophobic. And arachnophobic. And essentially every other kind of "phobic" that it's possible to be.)

While walking, I noticed that something was wrong because Panic had started to whimper.

I looked down and asked him what was bothering him.

"The sign..." Panic moaned, "It's different! It wasn't here last time!"

Aah. Fear of change.

I knelt down and gave him a hug, which calmed him.

When Panic stopped shaking, I put him down and walked over to inspect the new sign.

"Hero training?" I mused out loud.

"DON'T MAKE ME GO!" Panic screamed. I chose to ignore him.

"I bet Hercules would like that."

"I WOULDN'T!"

I scratched Panic's head and reassured him that he would not have to go to hero training. All the while, my brain bounced from possibility to possibility as I thought of how excited Herc would be when he found out about the program.

It seemed like the perfect idea. At the time.

If only I'd known what was coming.